Before we take off on a cruise, we tie down dinghies, stow the sunshade, clear and secure lines, and set up jacklines if we’re heading out to sea. (Jacklines are tight, secure, lines that run from the bowsprit back to the cockpit and allow us to hook on tethers as we go forward. The last thing either of us wants is to become shark fodder, and the tethers and jacklines are part of Sea Venture’s safety equipment to keep us from sliding off and over in a big sea.)
I wasn’t on board as Sea Venture traveled toward Panama, and the doghouse cabin top seems to have accumulated everything the guys didn’t want to stuff below. But you can see the jackline, going forward from the mizzen mast. And there wasn’t much wind. Perhaps they’d have tucked the other items below if there’d been danger of a blow.
Sometimes my personal decks need to be decluttered so that distractions–which love to grab hold of each of us–won’t keep me dashing around, chasing loose lines before they drag in the water and risk fouling the propeller. I can get so caught up in the ought-tos that I forget to take a deep breath and ease back into the truly important things in life.
Those important bits are different for each of us and assume different levels of priority. But we each have the capacity for distraction, don’t we? Running here and there after that thing we need to know, that bit we ought to do, that person we ought to court, that group we ought to join.
These last few days, I’ve been considering my motivations for all of it. Trying to dig a little deeper into what is real, what is valid, what is true, and what is needful. For me.
I’m not suggesting that my answers will be your answers. The questions are universal, but each of us must define our own priorities.
My children are grown and away. Much of my family has fled into virtual hiding. But the call to love them remains acute and requires practice. Loving my children, my husband and mother? Loving my world? These are easy.
You may have young ones at home. Or you may live alone. Perhaps your world revolves around city life. Perhaps suburbia or the country. Or maybe your backyard changes whenever you up-anchor as ours did when we lived on Sea Venture.
But you and I each have things we’re called to do, don’t we? A job, a lifestyle, a ministry, a friendship, an art–something that needs our focus. Something for which we need to keep the decks clear.
As a writer who has at least one book releasing in the who-knows-when future, I’ve let myself become distracted by what-I-should-be-doing-to-learn-how-to-market. I read conflicting ideas from gurus and then clutter my decks with all the shoulds. Unless I either stow all that baggage or give some of it away, I’m never going to make it out of the marina slip.
And I want to go sailing. Oh, and finish another book.
How about you? What things or circumstances are keeping you anchored in place? Can you divest yourself of the un-needful in order to concentrate on the important?
And what does important mean to you?
Such a good post, N.
Important to me is not trying to live outside myself. After all these years, I am who I am. Needing improvement in so many ways, but at the core: this is me. I can now recognize what might “should” be done but can’t do because of who God made me to be. Some things just are. “Shoulds and coulds” overwhelm us, and many of them don’t relate to who we are at our core – who God made us to be. Even though that concept strains against the grain of shoulds and coulds and even musts? Well, we go forward in the Lord by His Spirit and pray for His affirmation, direction, and hope to lead us on even when we confound those who “know” and “do” all the “shoulds and coulds”. Hope that made some sense, N.
Makes perfect sense, Nicole. Sometimes our sense of inadequacy makes us reach out to conform, to try to do what others suggest. When what we need to do (that word again–need–like ought and should) is figure out what works in and for us as individuals.
As someone who has been cluttering up your life with questions, I can appreciate your need to clean mental cobwebs. Distractions can be fun, but I can personally attest to them not advancing books to publication. Coming up with a livable mix of focus and distractions… I’m certain it can be. So, along with thanks, encouragement.
John, one of the important things–the truly important things–is spending time with folk. Your questions don’t come close to falling into the negative side of the balance sheet. Those that need to find there way into the maybes and perhaps-I’ll-dos are mostly those things I grant an importance they don’t deserve. But the real? That includes friends like you. Always.
Oh, you nailed it– and so beautifully, too. Great metaphors. I’ve been thinking a lot about the balance recently. It seems I’ve been trying fit discipline into my life when I should be fitting my life into the discipline. So I made some changes. I reordered my day according to my priorities and do you know, the discipline comes very easy when you want something badly enough. Old habits are so hard to break that sometimes the only answer is to clear the deck and make new, improved ones. Awesome post, Normandie and very timely for me. 🙂
Denise, perfect: “I’ve been trying to fit discipline into my life when I should be fitting my life into the discipline.” Yes, I remember that you’re getting up at the crack of dawn to write. So proud of you. Once upon a time, I got up that early to pray and found myself flat on my face, sound asleep. Hah! I seem to work better once I’ve taken care of a few distractions and then can dig in to focus on the writing (once that first and only fix of the day has kicked in with breakfast), but it’s all about deciding on priorities and not allowing others’ musts to dictate our own.
You’re such an encourager. Thank you for that.
I can attest to the ‘shoulds’ becoming overwhelming. I’ve been aswirl of late. But I decided (fairly recently) to simply refocus on the work. The extent of the marketing of my brand is going to have to whatever fits alongside that goal. I decided a while ago to limit my efforts to what comes naturally/what I enjoy.
I enjoy regular interactions with friends (like you), and only blog or comment on blogs when I feel I’ve got something to say. I’m not going to ‘force’ anything, except for setting aside time to focus on getting the work ready to submit again.
As others have said, nice metaphor, and I love seeing your photos! 🙂
Vaughn, you were one of my early encouragers. So glad to have you in my tribe! I saw a great list today on Facebook that discussed the way introverts and extroverts react to things. I think part of my problem in recent months has been trying to fit my introvert’s skin into an extrovert’s ideas of how we should be and do. No more. Decks cleared.
And I’m glad you like the pics. Even though I completely messed up subscribers’ inboxes yesterday, I’m glad I combined the sailing blog (which I began while we were out cruising) with the writing blog. (Another line tied off and tension eased.)
I will be looking for good things from those stories of yours.
Important to me was finally deciding what I wanted to be when I grew up and at sixty, I made that decision. (guess I finally grew up) And that includes, reading writing, editing, reading, writing, editing, and in my spare time, I read.
Aren’t you cute, Linda! And isn’t it a fine thing to grow up…finally. I’m right with you, my friend. Right with you.
Great post Normandie. I feel as if I’ve just stepped on the Sea Venture! What I’m hearing is that we are all in a certain season of life. I’m not writing of ages, but a “To everything there is a season . . . ” type thing. This can last a long time or change as quickly as the back yard on the SV. 🙂 The important thing is to make a self-check. Am I at peace or am I struggling. Then, “adjust the sails” of life so we are no longer fighting life.
Exactly, Linda. If we’re struggling with something, we need to ask ourselves if the struggle serves a purpose or if it exists merely because we’re not doing the important thing, but instead are following an imposed idea of important–from whatever source. I found myself debating a certain course this week and realized that my unrest came because I was following an agenda not my own. So, decks cleared and forward-ho!
wow, this blog has come at the right time. I find myself cluttering up my life with so many things. I need to take away the excess and begin to concentrate on what is important and what I should be doing instead of flittering from one thing to another all the time. Thanks Normandie :-). Loved hearing all the sailing talk too.
Shamira, hey! I can imagine how you’re feeling with all those lovely temptations at home and now with your books in hand. I’d love to hear about those and your plans. Flittering is common to us when we can’t figure out where to focus our energies–or are burdened by all those ought-tos!
Bless you, my dear.
Great post, Normandie. Yes, I’m buried under clutter and wll have to decide what is important and what is merely urgent.
Oh, Donn, there’s so much in your world right now. We’re hanging in with you as you deal with some of it, cheering for you as you deal with other parts.
Be blessed, both of you.
Normandie, your post came at just the right time. What’s important to me keeps changing (aside from serving God). I feel as though I’m walking on marbles most of the time and not doing a very good job of it! With the move from Alaska to Tennessee, I’ve lost my rhythm and find myself floundering around doing a little of this and a little of that in a vain attempt to get something (anything!) done. As a result, nothing gets done the way it should and my frustration increases. I, too, need to learn marketing techniques and continue my writing, as well as all the other things that come with living on this earth. I crave direction right now and I know if I sat down long enough to ask the Lord where He wants me to start, He’d gladly tell me. But my mind is so cluttered with “shoulds” and “to do lists” and “what ifs” that I’m not listening for His voice. Your post has reinforced my feeling that I need to sit still for a moment and listen to Him.
Blessings,
Deb
I’m so glad, Deb. I know the strain of moving wears on anyone, and with all the other shoulds floating around, we must hit that pause button and figure out which are right for us. I think you’re going to the perfect source!
This is just simply wonderful. And timely for me too, as many others have said in previous comments. I need to take a step back, I think, and re-align my priorities, my goals and focus on what is important to me, as that can change with time too.
Thanks Normandie…much food for thought here – bookmarking!!
Since writing that post, I’ve begun to think that I need to do this on a daily as well as occasional basis. A friend and I corresponded yesterday, and I could hear the concern from each of us, the need to put things back into perspective: she with edits for her upcoming release, I with other bits and pieces that cluttered and distracted my thoughts. And then word came of much greater import, forcing me to realign my focus toward it and seek peace. The clutter keeps us from working to capacity, doesn’t it? (And I’m not talking about physical clutter. I can grow incredibly myopic when looking at housekeeping tasks. Just a minute or two more at the keyboard, just let me finish this page, this chapter, this line, please. And then, at the end of the line, the urgency to clean has vanished. Poof!)
Thanks so much for stopping by to join in the discussion, Susannah.